The Turning of a Musical Page

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I love choir.

I have always loved singing in choir - simple as that.

It has been my constant - a wonderful light in my every day so called “normal” life.

It has provided me with joy, peace, community, and an incredible love for music making and the gift that it is to audiences as well as to the performers.

And yet, as all chapters have their beginnings, they also must have their endings. For me, this specific chapter of music making - a chapter that has shaped, changed, & given me countless opportunities and friendships - has come to its end.

Why is that when something is nearing its end, it finally hits just how much that something really meant to you?

Two weeks ago I had my very last college choir concert. It was the last time I put on my choir robe and walked out on a stage to perform for an audience that was beyond excited to hear incredible choral music.

And as that last concert came to a close, that specific fact hit me harder than I ever could have anticipated. As I walked out of Orchestra Hall in Minneapolis following our final concert I was  shaking and had tears clouding my vision and streaming down my face (many Concordia seniors who were there, yes, I know you can relate). Usually I’m not an emotional person (really, I’m not), but I couldn’t help overthinking every little detail and wonder if I’d ever make music at that level ever again.

However, I’ve realized that I must come to face reality and the most likely answer to that question which is: probably not.

That fact is the toughest reality of all to swallow, because although all things must come to their end, this also includes the good and even best things in life. When these arguably best experiences in life must end, man, it’s tough. And it just downright sucks. There’s no way to sugarcoat the matter or to say it more plainly. It sucks, regardless of whatever amazing experience it has been.  The fact is, no one enjoys the closing of a wonderful experience, when a blessing in life must come to an end. Those experiences and people that have filled, moved, and created you... cherish them while they’re in front of you, because they pass in a blink of an eye. ​

In my past 22 years of life, I have been very lucky. I have grown up in a home where music was encouraged and thus became an integral part of the rhythm and pattern of my life. As I grew to love music, I became especially fond of singing in a choir. And since fourth grade, singing in Choir is something that has been a part of my everyday life. Class, eating, sleeping, studying, and ... choir. It has been my constant. And especially in college at Concordia, my love for choir and music has only grown.

​And it seems that at the peak of my love for it, that’s when I finally must say goodbye.

But that’s life, isn’t it? Life guarantees change and transitions. And this is but a closing of another chapter, arguably my favorite chapter yet; however, that’s just it: it is ending. And despite feeling sadness over “losing” it, I am happy. I feel contentment and more fulfilled from this experience than I ever dreamed possible. This choral experience has given me the most incredible joy, life changing experiences, and community of friends and fellow music lovers - all of which has been more than I could have ever imagined.

Choir has made made my ordinary days extraordinary. Singing with people who love making beautiful music just as much as I do... well, there’s nothing else really quite like it, is there?

So here’s to turning to the next page, to finishing a beautiful chapter, and to moving on to the next one.

And I have hope that there will be much more music making in the pages to come :)